Four extracts from 'Schizophrenia Defeated' by James Stacey

Chapter 8: “The Battle belongs to The Lord" Conference
Chapter 9: "Delivered and Healed within minutes"
Chapter 16: "There is hope for the schizophrenic"

appear later on the page, after Chapter 6

Chapter 6: “Lord, I’m Going No Further Than Birmingham”

I selected Tina’s name from an old list which stated her interest in meeting someone with a “regular prayer life”.  She later told me that during her days of leading the dating agency’s group in the Halesowen area of the West Midlands she had met many males who, though interested in a relationship, seemed to lack that requirement.  Her few clearly stated lines were meant to ward off anyone less dedicated than that!

The details which appeared on the quarterly handout captured my attention.  They said something to the effect: “Christina Winterburn, d.o.b. 1944, born-again Christian, interested in friendship, companionship, possibly marriage, likes cooking, travel, embroidery, Bible study.  Requirements: someone with a regular prayer life.”

She had relinquished the job of leader of the Halesowen group as she was being swamped by many “agony aunt” calls from women desperate to find someone.  She had cancelled her membership altogether and was just another name among many that I had kept from previous years of handouts.  She was surprised to receive a call from someone desiring a meeting.

This was pretty evident on the day I phoned.  I caught her unprepared, but left brief personal details including my telephone number.  She was to mislay these but prayed that if it was right to follow me up, God would bring my name back to mind, which He did.  She eventually located me in the phone book, rang me and then we began corresponding.

In her second letter Tina wrote:

“I thought I would let you know more fully my connection with Christian Friendship Fellowship.  I am still associated with CFF and receive the lists/news and letters, but for three or four years I haven’t written to anyone on the lists.  In the first few months when I joined, I did write about half a dozen letters but found the contacts not really committed to Christ.

“So then, I got involved in leading the local group here, but after three years of being at the helm I felt someone else should take over.  I handed over the leadership in June this year [1987].  Originally, I joined because I felt isolated as a single person in my church.  Also I felt quite lonely (for the first time in my life) and felt the need to venture out of my orbit and make friends.

“I have made some lovely female friends in CFF and been blessed through their friendship.  The few males I’ve met my age have been mainly divorcees with outstanding problems, so I haven’t wanted to get involved in any way.  Some felt quite hurt because I wouldn’t go out with them, but I have always tried to be firm, straight and kind.

“To be honest, when you phoned me at first I felt quite defensive because of previous CFF contacts.  I realised you were a definite committed Christian, though, and that kindled an interest, so that is the reason I phoned you back when I returned from holiday.  Also, I sensed I had been somewhat abrupt to you when you first phoned me.”

I discovered through corresponding that she was a former missionary with Operation Mobilisation in France and India and now worked as a practice nurse.  It was a pleasant surprise to be told that her father, Maurice Winterburn, a retired Church of England vicar, had also attended Cliff College like myself. I purposely left out in my letters to her any mention of my mental condition or the numerous visits to psychiatric hospitals, thinking it would jeopardise chances of a lasting relationship.

 After writing a few letters to each other, I invited Tina to come to Chesterfield for a day out.  Our first meeting went well, starting with a lunch date in the town centre and followed by a visit to the picturesque grounds of Chatsworth House.  It was a bright, late autumn day as we walked the spacious grounds, and I soon made up my mind that I liked Tina, and suggested a second date to which she agreed.  She returned home to tell her father and stepmother that, to use her own words, she thought she might possibly have met the man she would marry.

It was during our second meeting at Tina’s home in Halesowen, just eight miles south west of Birmingham, that she first began to suspect something was not right in my life, though it was too early to detect.  Out walking the beautiful Clent Hills, I kept on referring to the many visions I had received over the years, which in reality were nothing but delusions.

To me these so-called visions were as true and as real as could be but, of course, that’s just one problem a schizophrenic has.  These visions, I told her, were special, unique and important, but the way I spoke made me appear off-balance and a little strange.

We continued meeting at weekends for the next few weeks until she discovered my condition.  She phoned my home and was told by my daughter, Alison:

“Dad isn’t in because he’s gone to the doctor’s for his injection.”

 “An injection for what?” asked Tina.

“For his nerves,” Alison replied.

When I later told Tina the injections were either modecate or depixol, two anti-psychotic drugs she herself administered during her work as a practice nurse, she put two and two together and realised that I was suffering from schizophrenia, having shown some major symptoms.

The discovery that I had schizophrenia made Tina have immediate doubts about a lasting relationship.  She had treated both Christian and non-Christian schizophrenics and knew there seemed to be no apparent cure.  A Christian doctor at the practice where she worked had an interest in psychiatry and he strongly warned her not to get involved with me.

When Tina said to him: “If a person was married to someone with diabetes one could live with that fact,” he replied: “There’s a great deal of difference in being married to someone with diabetes and someone with schizophrenia.  At least you can debate and communicate with a diabetic, but not so with a schizophrenic because his mind is illogical and unpredictable.”

Tina was later to tell me: “He was really quite adamant with me not to get involved.  He said it would lead to a lot of stress, about which of course he was absolutely right, until you were finally set free and restored.”

His advice put lots of doubts into Tina’s mind and caused her to decide, rather reluctantly in some ways, to start withdrawing from my life.

I sometimes felt a little uneasy visiting Tina’s home knowing that her father, Maurice, the chairman of the long-established League of Prayer movement in the United Kingdom, worked alongside Mr Albert Harper, the secretary, whose prayer meetings I used to attend in Rotherham years before.  I once phoned Mr Harper at 4 a.m. while in a disturbed condition, and I just didn’t want him to pass that information on to Maurice in case it proved detrimental in my relationship with Tina.   

By early January 1988, three months after we first met, she had almost made up her mind “to let me down gently” and disappear from my life.  Then something most significant happened in beginning a chain of events leading to a greater involvement with me.

I was off work for six weeks with laryngitis and bronchitis and had received an injection for my nerves.  It produced a “high condition” in me made worse by my having fallen in love with Tina.  Into this maze of emotions, God spoke to me in my bedroom one night and gave me a real vision.  His words were simply these: “Enough is enough,” ¾ a word directed to my long mental bondage and the issue of coming of drugs - and I saw in the vision Tina dressed in a bridal gown with her father by her right side.

From that night I came off injections for my nerves (and haven’t had cause to return to them).  I began to pursue Tina, believing that I had the backing of heaven behind me.  But word of my vision didn’t impress her.  Neither did the bouquet of flowers I sent by Interflora quoting a verse from the Bible about the bride and the bridegroom.

“He’s high again, and this is just another vision,” she told her dad and Esther.

Soon afterwards I went into the mental hospital for a rest on the advice of my doctor.  I wrote a long love letter to Tina in readiness for her visit on a blustery winter’s day and told her just how I felt.  She sailed into the hospital wearing a long burgundy mackintosh, carrying tangerines in a string bag in one hand and a copy of All Creatures Great and Small in the other.

My first words were: “I want you to read what’s in this letter because it tells you all that I feel about you.  I am deeply in love with you.  You understand, don’t you?”

While sympathetic with my mental condition, the romantic approach failed to impress, though in my heart of hearts I was as serious as I could be.  She bumped into my Pastor, John Humphries, at the hospital and intimated she was going to walk out of my life and let me down gently.

Visiting my bedroom on the ward she saw lined up in the window a row of Christian books, mainly on prayer.  She sought to inspire a bit of natural life into me by suggesting I read the book she had brought; but I made it clear that I had no time to read less important books.

I was helped and encouraged by a Christian doctor who advised me to take a new drug called sulperide.  But I held on to the vision God had given me and was determined not to take any more drugs.  I asserted myself and said to her:

“Whose life is it anyway?  I’m all right.  I don’t want any more tablets.”

During the short spell at the hospital, I never took one tablet, although I gave the impression at the time when they were handed out by the nurse that I swallowed them.  I held the tablet at the back of my mouth with my tongue and dropped them down the toilet as soon as she had left the room.

In my feverish enthusiasm I kept ringing Tina from the hospital two or three times a day, causing some alarm by the number and persistency of the calls.

Her father Maurice and stepmother Esther were obviously concerned about her involvement with me.  Their Christ-like compassion for me remained steadfast and they also prayed me through several bad patches.  There was power being unleashed in my life in response to these prayers, and those from others in various parts of the country, as I received Christ’s strength to fight the evil force entrenched in my life.

After discharge from hospital, I needed time off work for the laryngitis and bronchitis to heal.  I bombarded Tina with regular despatches of “spiritual gems” from well-known Christian authors, which caused her to write in February, 1988:

“How many secretaries do you employ to send me so many letters?”

I was still head over heels about her, often asking myself why she didn’t feel the same way about me.  Receiving a letter always brought great encouragement to me, such as the one in February 1988, which said: 

“I have been praying much for your continual healing.  I believe the Lord has touched you, but sometimes the evidence of healing comes gradually.  I was praying very much for you the other afternoon for an hour or so meditating on certain Scriptures.  These are the verses that came alive as I was praying for a manifestation of God’s healing touch in you:

1. Isaiah 26 verse 3:   “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.”

2. Hebrews 7 verse 25: ... “Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them!”

3. Psalm 28 verse 7: “The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and I am helped.”

4. Philippians 4 verse 7: “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

5. Psalm 22 verse 5: “They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.”

“As I have been praying for you, specific areas of your life have been major concerns of prayer, e.g. a restoring of a regular sleep pattern (10-11 p.m. - 6 am).  I have been led to claim in the area of ‘peace’.  I want the Lord to continually immerse you in His peace.

“Also, I’m praying in these days you will learn to relax.  You told me over the phone that you hadn’t been able to really relax for years.  So I’m praying that you will learn in these days.  I feel you love the Lord 100 per cent and are fully committed to Him, but I sense you may have been spending time in feeding your spirit e.g. prayer/meditation but not enough time in relaxing following natural pursuits such as swimming, sports, hobbies, etc.  Now, of course, our priority as Christians is to spend time with the Lord, but we are human and need to enjoy the natural pursuits of life to help keep us balanced.  So I hope you don’t mind me sharing that!

“The Lord really does love you James and wants you to show His life in the Post Office.  You have done in the past, and I feel He will help you in the coming days when you get back and face the same people.  I will be coming up on Wednesday and hope to have a long chat.  I’m sure we have many things to talk about.”

On her next visit, Tina began tidying up my house and was a little frustrated on finding that the electric vacuum cleaner  would not work.  She told me to get my coat on and put the clapped out appliance in the boot, as she was taking me out to buy a new cleaner.  “You can pay me back at £5 a month,” she said.  She didn’t even allow me time to take the plug off the old one, a move I thought at the time was really essential.  I only ever gave her one payment as I must have forgotten the arrangement, and she never asked for any money.  

No sooner had I returned to work in Sheffield than a major financial crisis put me under considerable pressure.  I had accrued a lot of debt from the use of several visa cards from Midland, NatWest and Girobank.  Strange to say, I could not put my finger on anything big that had caused me to keep using the plastic card, other than a Girobank loan and hefty telephone bills.  I needed to secure a loan in order to clear the remaining balances on these cards.

The weight of owing the money hit me with particular force on top of everything else as I set off for Barclays Bank during my lunch hour to negotiate borrowing £2,000.  The repayment amounts were about £55 a month for five years.

When the clerk arranging the details remarked, “That’ll make it 1993 before it’s paid.  Seems a long way off, doesn’t it?”

I replied: “It most certainly does.”

The details completed, I knew the money would soon be available.  This brought a tremendous relief as I walked back to the office from the city centre.

Having fallen in love with Tina brought its emotional stress as well.  I felt frustrated that she didn’t feel the same for me as I did for her.  More progress would obviously have been made had I not had a psychotic illness, but how wise she was to keep me at arm’s length at this time.  A letter sent in mid-March evoked a reply that brought me up sharp.

She said:

“Thanks for your letter which arrived this morning.  Yes, I do believe and am continually aware that you are in love with me.  I am not offended at all by what you have written, but I’m a little mystified as to why you feel you need to repeat it from time to time.  Do you feel my mind will be changed?  The only thing that would change my mind would be if I had the ‘go ahead’ from the Lord.  That has not come and if ever it was God’s intention to bring us together then there would have to be definite direction from Him working through and revealing His will through circumstances.

“I am very fond of you James and the more I get to know you the more I like you.  I am physically very attracted to you also, but I feel restrained by the Lord in committing myself to you, therefore I have to be disciplined and exercise self-control, which is one fruit of the Holy Spirit.  I do believe (but I could be misguided on this point) that the Lord wants me to help you in certain spiritual areas.  Generally, I believe it is unwise for a female to help a male through prayerful counselling, but somehow the Lord seems to have laid you on my heart.  Also I definitely believe God has given me certain insights into you.  I have said to the Lord, ‘In many ways James is further on with you Lord than I am, so why are you gently pushing me in prayerful concern for him?’

“There have been no messages/words of Scripture etc., to tell me to carry on searching for answers, but I have sensed intuitively that the Lord is just giving me certain insights into certain struggles and difficult experiences you’ve had in your life.  I can honestly say, I’ve never had such insights in helping others in the past.  When I’ve prayed about these insights all I can say is that I’m filled with peace, faith and even joy at times, but always peace and faith.  So it must be of the Lord.  Also when I’ve been battling in prayer I have felt quite tired, but as soon as I have moved on to a place of victory over your particular difficulties I have immediately felt a release of physical energy.  Then I have felt I could move mountains.

“The contents of the last paragraph may sound strange or difficult for you to understand but please do not worry.  The Lord is on your side and He is the God of Release and Restoration.  There is a lot to talk about, James, and we are going to see more victories won.”

Though the first part of the letter had brought me down to earth, so to speak, I became hopeful of things moving ahead between us.  Somehow I seemed unable to grasp what Tina was trying to tell me, as I held on to the belief that our relationship was advancing well.  I was totally unprepared, however, for the shock just around the corner on a day off in March, when she announced an end to everything.

**********************************************************************

Chapter 8: “The Battle belongs to The Lord" Conference 

Little did I realise travelling down to Brighton for “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” conference in February, 1990 just how near I was to being set free. It was going to prove an important time, particularly for Tina in providing new teaching about deliverance and assuring her that my case was neither helpless nor hopeless.

About 3,000 people from various parts of Great Britain and other nations converged on the seaside resort to occupy the centre often used as the venue for the national conference of the Conservative Party. Being among so many Christians who were desirous of knowing more about healing and deliverance was a tonic in itself.

Subjects listed in the programme such as Rebuilding the Shattered Life, Breaking Bondages, Liberty for the Captives (for those already Christians), How to Prepare a Person for Healing and Deliverance, suggested that this was going to be a different kind of conference, as it indeed it proved to be.

The main speakers were evangelist Bill Subritzky, for many years a senior partner in a large law firm and governing director of one of New Zealand’s largest home-building companies; Peter Horrobin of Ellel Ministries, and Graham Powell, engaged in evangelistic and pastoral ministry in New Zealand, Australia and Canada.

It was a conference I shall never forget, though I failed to absorb most of the teaching because of my condition. But God was ministering to me during the whole of the meetings and advances towards freedom were being established.

Sunday, 11th February, marked a remarkable day for Nelson Mandela, the National African Congress leader, who was released from 26 years’ confinement on Robben Island. Unable to venture out because of a gale hitting the resort, we watched his release on television with immense interest in our upstairs flat at Saltdene, just outside Brighton. Great anticipation was created before we saw him emerging as a free man.

On hearing of the length of his confinement, I thought, “That’s about the length of time I have been in my mental prison.” Seeing him obviously rejoicing that his long spell in prison was now over, a tremendous surge of emotion and excitement gripped my spirit. I was getting fortified in my struggle to move forward with greater determination to seize my freedom. I envied him in his breakthrough, though I myself only had to wait a matter of weeks to break an imprisonment far more serious and entrenched. 

In the early stages of the Conference, it was made more than plain that Christians could be affected by demonic forces, even though they possessed genuine experiences of knowing Christ. Believing in Christ and receiving his new life at conversion did not necessarily mean that everything in the soul life had been dealt with too. I said a hearty Amen to all that. 

Graham Powell made this point so clear in dynamic testimony. As he unfolded how from his earliest days the powers that gripped his mother influenced and gripped him, I was impressed how his story was very much like my own. His mother, just like my mother, was plagued by fear all her life. In his book, Fear Free, he writes: “She was so anxious, so full or worry, so swayed by a variety of fears. If only she had met Jesus as Deliverer, my childhood would have been so different. But can’t we all say this? Rarely do parents, even Christian parents, understand the extent of the subversive activities of Satan. Because of our ignorance we offer no resistance, and evil spirits continue their works of destruction.” 

Hearing him describe the tremendous problems that came into his life and how great a struggle he faced in breaking their hold through the power of faith, drew a sympathetic response from me. I thought: “He’s really been through it just like me. But now he’s free. Do it for me, Lord, too.” 

Despite the numerous mentions in the meetings of Christians being affected by demonic forces, it never really occurred to me that they were the problem in my life. Even when Bill Subritsky related how he came into the deliverance ministry through a demon entering his nine-year-old son and remaining for nine years, nothing spoke deeply enough into my life to suggest that my battle was with the spirits of darkness. 

People interrupted the proceedings as demonic forces left their lives and I rejoiced with those who were being freed. During ministry time, a woman near to where I was sitting was being troubled by a spirit of hate towards her mother. I wanted to join the group gathered around her to add my contribution in leading her into freedom. I was new to commanding spirits to leave people and really did not know what I was doing, but I could sense the woman was not in control of her life as her eyes seemed ablaze with another power which called out to her mother: “I hate you!” 

In addition to meetings in the main Conference Centre, other workshops were held on freeing those affected by Sexual Abuse and How to Minister Evangelism. We never missed an opportunity to attend every session possible, though Tina was constantly aware how I looked detached during the meetings. 

She was to tell me later: “I never thought anything was registering in you and wondered if the meetings themselves were providing any kind of help or breakthrough. You seemed to be in a world of your own unable to pick up what was being said. I was a bit frustrated since you seemed to be immune to everything that was happening. Even in the worship time I noticed you were detached.” 

I agreed with her, but I do believe that since my inner ear was always striving to be hearing from God some light was penetrating, albeit in a small way. The problem a schizophrenic has is that his life in thought and action centres around himself in a most strange and too-absorbing way, unable to relate to normal life, never mind to grasp seeing himself as others see him. 

Tina didn’t receive much help on the subject of schizophrenia during the conference but received faith to believe that I could be freed of this psychotic condition. She was encouraged to hear how God dealt with a variety of strongholds in people. 

“I believed that you had a demonic presence in you but did not recognise what it was,” she said. “There can be in certain cases wrong attitudes and a number of wrong habits formed in a person because a demonic presence has ridden in. Through self-will a spirit of rebellion can come in as well.” 

The last meeting of the Conference over, I thought it would be a great idea to buy a copy of every cassette from each meeting. I wondered about ringing my home church to get permission to spend a bit of cash to buy them all, thinking how beneficial and helpful it would be to many in my church. But having second thoughts, I decided to use my own money and make the purchase. Tina bought a couple of videos, and together I thought we were armed with deliverance dynamite. 

Convinced now more than ever that I could be set free, Tina began to increase the prayer assault against the demonic forces in my life by calling on the support of so many friends. As usual, she continued to see the importance of challenging me about wrong thought patterns and any wrong behaviour. She had done this in the early stages of our relationship, when reading chunks out of “The Spiritual Man” by Watchman Nee concerning the mind, the will and the emotions and in particular on the problem of passivity affecting my life. She believed that real progress towards freedom could not be made unless I first realised the extent to which I had surrendered my life to evil spirits. 

But such confrontation, needful and effective though it was to prove, brought head-on friction in our relationship in a meeting at home after the conference. 

Tina suggested to me: “Your problem James is that your mind is full of delusions.” 

It brought a classic response from me which revealed the schizophrenic mind. I strongly disagreed as I replied: 

“My mind is not deluded. Do you want me to be untrue to myself?” 

Tina replied: “No, I want you to be true to yourself. Your mind is muddled. The filter process is not working properly in you and the delusions operating in you are aggravating a muddled mind.” 

By this time, Tina had had enough as she blurted out: “I am going home. I have had my fill!” 

I switched from being on the defensive as she began to pack her case, and followed her from the bathroom. 

But she continued: “I’ve reached the limit of my help for you James, and there’s nothing more I can do. I can’t discuss things logically with you because you can’t see things in a logical way. I will always be your friend, you can write to me or ring me and I will always try to help you but I am exhausted and have reached the end of things.” 

Tina was to tell me later: “I saw quite a sick mind and so I had to be careful what I said. You would often go off at a tangent mentioning your visions and delusions and would take up a rebellious attitude to me. You were insisting that I accept you as you were, but I could not have contemplated marrying you in that condition as life would have been too unbearable.” 

As Tina was all prepared to leave, the thought occurred to me that I might be losing her, so I suddenly changed my whole attitude. By the time she left for Halesowen, I secured the promise of a future meeting, though when she arrived home her father and Esther immediately sensed the struggle she had been encountering as she unburdened herself about what had gone on between us. 

“James is unable to see his own condition and is not responding,” she told them. 

“They could see I was shattered by my whole involvement with you. I had never before encountered such exhaustion in a relationship. Leading a team of workers in India which brought its problems never saw me anything like this. The weariness I was feeling was that I was challenging demonic strongholds in your life which kept sapping my energy. It was at this stage that Dad and Esther advised to me to keep my distance from you if only for the sake of my own health.” 

It was during another visit to my home soon afterwards that the same problem of needing deliverance reared its head. 

“I need to take you round to Jill’s to get some help to pray this demonic force out of you.” 

Jill Stone was a member of the local Pentecostal church and a personal friend. 

I replied: “If there is something there as you say, then let’s go round to her house right now and get it out. I’m willing.” 

I was giving her a challenge through agreeing with her rather than offering my co-operation, as was seen when we arrived at Jill’s house. 

Sitting in a chair, I said to both of them: “Okay, if there is something there, get it out. I’m more than willing to see the back of this problem which you say I have.” 

I stayed there wanting them to start work, but by no means giving wholehearted co-operation. 

“He’s not with us in this,” said Tina to Jill. “He’s wanting us to do the work of calling out this demon but at the same time he is denying its presence in his life.” 

How important it was for me to receive more light and truth by the spirit of God to reveal my 
true condition and deception. They couldn’t continue because of my unbelief. As the weeks moved 
into Spring and beyond, a great offensive of prayer continued from many intercessors with the 
specific targeting of the need for me to see my own condition, a revelation that was soon to dawn 
on my darkened mind.

Read on for Chapter Nine, "Delivered and Healed within minutes" and stand amazed at the unbounded possibilities of prayer.

**********************************************************************

Chapter 9: "Delivered and Healed within minutes"

Although I was unaware of it at the time, the final battle against the powers of darkness in my life had begun. Their desire to destroy me after 26 years of real occupation was now being certainly threatened. I began to feel a nagging pain around my right knee, so excruciating at times that I could barely walk. I discerned that the demons were located there.

It may seem strange that the cause of a mental bondage should be found so far away in the lower part of my body, but sure evidence to me of how long they had been in my life and how deeply they were entrenched. The story of the crippled woman healed on the Sabbath as recorded in Luke, Chapter 13 confirms the fact that evil spirits can be responsible for bodily pain.

The pain was present one night when I visited my father’s memorial in the village cemetery in South Anston. Immediately I stepped into the graveyard, it was felt pain with such power as to resemble an ambulance siren being switched on.

Tina kept up the fight to free me by seeking help from her team of intercessors. She also contacted Bruce Hunt, involved in Christian counselling living in Worksop.

He was most helpful in discerning my problem and told her that my mind was like a dungeon with many compartments, each having its own shutter.

“The double vision signifies the real and unreal where there is an inability to work out and understand day to day living. Some of these compartments are shuttered from the bottom, and it’s light against darkness and this is causing confusion,” said Bruce.

A great step forward in destroying the powers of darkness encircling my mind came during a weekend of prayer and fasting in late March 1990, which Tina spent with Joan Clark. Over two days, they not only made great advances in securing answers for others, but God dealt with issues in their own lives resulting in bondages being broken.

She added that in the prayer time for me they took hold of the promise in Isaiah 45, verse 2b in which they asked God “to break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron” around my mind. Hope of securing a breakthrough in my life gripped them both, with Tina observing:

“When these are removed, then the Lord can show you step by step (and it will take some time) those areas where you will need deliverance. Present this before the Lord. Be assured of mine and Joan’s prayers. I want to assure you of my esteem and love and I will continue to stand in prayer for you. In fact I have committed myself to continue praying for you and I will be in contact; whatever you think or feel be assured that I’m carrying you frequently in prayer. You are lovely and one day you will fully flower, I believe. So do please keep in contact. How else can I pray intelligently for you? I don’t know what God’s ultimate plan is for us. The Lord knows. Praise Him.”

The extent to which more light was soon received from this prayer time, I believe, can be judged from my desire to write to the director of a ministry centre. On 9th April, 1990, I asked “for prayerful consideration to be given as an urgent case for personal ministry in healing, counselling and deliverance.” Tina had also written him detailing my problems.

The letter covering four pages of A4, took so much time and effort to write that I set aside a day’s annual leave from work to complete it. I thanked the director for the privilege of being at the Brighton Conference, and for the teaching and ministry received. I detailed the dealings of God with me since conversion at the age of fourteen, and stressed I knew I was not free. I desired a full release of freedom into my life.

Looking over my letter later, I realised that it contained one mistake. When God spoke to me in my bedroom in 1988 and said, “Enough is enough,” it was not a time of receiving healing and deliverance. But it was the time I felt guided to discontinue the medication, curtail spare-time journalism and working as a church deacon in order to make prayer my first priority. It was a promise of freedom to come. I stated in the letter the importance of the breakthrough which followed prayer-battling against satanic powers over four days.

I wrote: “I still feel (for want of a better word) a restriction on my freedom. Though the Lord has returned normalcy in many areas, I feel a lack of energy because there is a band around my mind. It does not prevent me from being productive or living and enjoying God, but it is a “a continuing infirmity.” I have goals to achieve for the Lord and I want this persistent thing out of the way. I feel that counselling and prayer and a word from the Lord will set me free and I shall be seen to be free as well as knowing it myself.

“I may have left important things out but briefly that is my reason for writing. The need to break free is so important to myself that I am willing to come up at a moment’s notice. The return to complete health in the mental realm is the only factor hindering Tina from committing herself in marriage, though our relationship has always been directed to the will of God. I eagerly look forward to your reply.”

The director soon wrote back to say that he would be able to fit me in for ministry towards the end of May. My hopes were raised on receiving his letter, though by the time I was to make the visit God had worked for me in response to so much praying and calling out to Him by imparting deliverance and healing, both within a matter of minutes.

A week before deliverance and healing took place, I received a letter of encouragement from Tina while on what I called “the last lap of a long struggle.”

“Although you’re feeling tired and even bombarded in your mind at present, in a way it’s a good sign. The devil knows you are onto something great. However, it’s not God’s will for you to become sapped of energy and worn out even before going to Ellel. So we have to defeat satan’s tactics and strategy in trying to wear you out in order to stop you receiving ministry.

“Well James, you are on the winning side. Satan is a defeated foe and he has no right to harass you like this. During these last few days, I’ve felt quite oppressed and worn out but tonight I feel much better. I’m waging war and taking authority over the powers of darkness trying to destroy you. Do ring me anytime if you want to talk, to fill me in with what you are facing. O.K? I know you have to watch the phone bill.

“Don’t fast and pray on your own at present. Please don’t, no matter how tempted you are to do that. Of course, there is a time to fast and pray but not for you at the moment. If you feel an urgency or desperation to spend excessive time in prayer then just PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE (exerting your will in PRAISE) and you will find the agitation or whatever will pass. The devil hates PRAISE.

“Do enjoy life during your lunch times — go for a walk in the park, or eat a delicious meal or play dominoes!! Do something you enjoy related to life. Even if you don’t feel like doing something related to life, nevertheless do it. Don’t let the devil lead you up any alleys, don’t let him, resist him particularly through PRAISING God. I think some bars will be broken through PERSISTENT PRAISE. Don’t let your feelings dictate to you at present what you should do. Exert your will. Here ends my sermon. If you can manage to write down each day a little of what you’re experiencing, this will help the folks at Ellel Grange to help you.”

The memorable day when I was set free was on a bright and sunny May Day Bank Holiday in 1990, the extra public bank holiday for workers to enjoy, but for me a day of joyous freedom through deliverance and healing. It was a day to be outdoors, so Tina and I headed for the Clent Hills, our favourite spot for a walk and chat.

During a leisurely stroll, Tina pointed out that my problem was one of schizophrenia. She said it in a matter-of-fact way, but no sooner had she spoken than the Holy Spirit said to me: “That’s right. That’s what it is.” I found myself totalling agreeing with her for the very first time.

It was as though light and truth from the Holy Spirit dawned on my mind and I could see myself as I really was. No more disagreement or opposition from me, but a simple acceptance of what she had said. Revelation had at long last penetrated my mind.

Arriving back at her home, I was moved to ask if we could pray together. It proved a mighty time of aggressive intercession during which the Lord moved into our praying and carried me heavenward with powerful pleadings. I told God I was so angry with the enemy of my life for having messed it up all these many years. It was earnest petitioning coupled with a desperate cry for help, to me so urgent and real that I told Tina in an aside to be quiet because I was really talking with God and getting through, and it was important to unburden my heart and share my need.

I came out of that prayer more powerful than when I went into it, but I also received an assurance from the Holy Spirit that the evil power was going to be cast out and by the end of the day I would be free.

I could see that Tina was looking tired, as she often had been in her loving, devoted help to me for so long. The thought of having more prayer was dropped and I decided it was time to leave for home at Chesterfield.

We kissed and said cheerio at New Street Station, Birmingham. I was itching to get my teeth into a book called “Pigs in the Parlour”. I read of how evil spirits can, through lack of watchfulness or dabbling in the occult, be allowed to walk into our lives like as pigs coming into the best lounge in our homes and squatting down in all their filth without being moved on. I spent the time before boarding the train praying in the toilet, asking God for a quiet spot on the journey so that I could read undisturbed.

I found a single seat right up front in the first carriage next to the engine. As I read first of all the chapter on Schizophrenia, and then two more, faith and confidence began to rise in my heart. I really believed that God was not only able to rid me of this demonic presence but that he was going to show me how to do it single-handed.

"So if the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed." 
John 8 v 36

On reaching home, a joyous anticipation of being set free gripped my life. The fact that I had never before cast out evil spirits from my own life or anyone else’s didn’t seem to matter. I turned the whole business over to God and said: “Lord, you’ll have to help me because getting demons out is all new to me.”

The way forward came when God replied in an instant. “Blast them out,” was the inspiration that flashed across my mind.

The Lord had given His directions on how to proceed, so I turned the settee into the bay window to give me privacy. Because satan and demons loathe intensely hearing God being praised and worshipped, it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to me to declare in praise who was really on the throne of my life and who had the right to own all my life.

Addressing the evil presence in my life, I said: “I’ll blast you out.”

So, using a cassette of praise choruses put together at my church, Zion Assembly of God, I sat on the settee with my right leg resting on an upright chair minus my sock and shoe. I played triumphant praise as loudly as possible from the recorder into the area around my right knee where the feeling of cramp was still present. On the train journey home the nagging power it always produced seemed muffled during the reading of the book.

When the 20 minute tape reached the chorus, “Jesus at Your Name we bow the knee”, I thought it had particular significance to my praying. So I leaned over and addressed the demon in my right leg, saying: “Do you hear that you demon of schizophrenia, bow the knee to Jesus!”

I then sat back waiting on the Lord until the rest of the tape ran out. I then turned the cassette off and with the Lord helping me, I challenged the demon’s legal right to be in my life. I pleaded the blood of Christ and asserted the Lordship of Christ over my life telling the demons that they had no legal right to be occupying my life because Jesus Christ of Nazareth had died for me. I declared boldy that they had been pigs in the parlour of my life for far too long and now had to go. I commanded the demon of schizophrenia to leave my life and go to the dry and waterless place, and THEN IT HAPPENED!!.

Glory to Jesus! There were two movements across the middle of my right leg followed by a third which was distinct from the other two, all going down my leg and out through my bare foot, providing a sensation of release. I knew without doubt that the evil forces had left my life. I believe the three movements represented a “nest of spirits” being exorcised, and they were demons of schizophrenia, religious spirit and suicide.

I almost hit the ceiling with joy as I realised that God had won a deliverance in my life. Then I thought to ring Tina to tell her the good news. Walking to the phone in the corner of the room, the Holy Spirit checked me and I sat down on the settee. Placing my hands in three places over my head, I prayed: “Lord, believing that you have enabled me to cast out those demons in my life You heal what has been knotted up in my mind for all these years.”

As I was still speaking, God unleashed laser-type healing power right through the centre of my head. It was just like the promise in Isaiah 66:24 “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear”.

On this particular day, He responded with grease-lightning speed. I did not feel the impact of God’s healing power at the sides of my head. The “rays” of power cut through the centre and I felt in a split—moment of time, power infusing the top of my head down to my forehead and right through to the base of my neck. It was God hitting the bull’s eye in the area where I needed His healing power.

I heard in years to come an explanation of the dramatic events that changed my life that evening. In a tape called “The Substance of Prayer” on the subject of unleashing the power of prayer, Dutch Sheets of Colorado Springs mentions that for some prayers to be answered there needs to be a sufficient amount of power released “to get the job done”. The more difficult situation calls for persistent prayer and the accumulation of those prayers. God sometimes answers certain prayers immediately, but others need “more prayers from the saints of God” to fill up the golden bowls of incense out of which God sends the answer.

At a given moment, says Sheets, when the censer has been filled with enough prayers, God tells the angel to hurl the fire of the healing power of God to earth so providing the answer required. (Revelation 8 verses 3 to 8). The moment of breakthrough for me came that afternoon in prayer when God came into the praying and the censer reached its fullness imparting the assurance of freedom. But the sending of the fire to heal my mind, followed the deliverance from evil spirits.

Knowing I was now both delivered and healed, I raced to the phone to tell Tina the good news. Though she was tired, she fully entered into my rejoicing.

“Well, how did it happen?” she asked.

I then filled her in with the details.

“It’s just wonderful. I am so thrilled for you, James. God has answered our prayers at last. Blessed be His Name.”

I was disappointed that Tina was not with me to see the immediate effect of healing on my face, now aglow and full of joy. The band of tightness around my mind was no longer there. Instead of my face being under the influence of a mind paralysed through deep entrenchment by evil spirits, it was bursting with joy because of the inner release. I said to Tina: “I can’t wait to get down to see you on Saturday. You will be meeting a new man. I tell you I look different.”

I went to work the next morning in Sheffield feeling so very different, like a man having walked out of a prison house with his chains left inside the cell. The inner joy and strength enabled me to get on with my work a lot easier. There was no fear upon my life, because God had broken it in every form. I knew there was now power in my life through the fresh realisation of Jesus dying for me. The authority I possessed in Him caused me to walk ten feet high.

My longing to travel down to Halesowen to see Tina was with me throughout the whole working week. Every night I was on the phone to tell her how I was getting on.

“It’s just wonderful. On getting home from work I don’t feel tired. There’s no need to go upstairs to rest or sleep like before. The healing has brought fresh strength into my life, and I’m living a new life.”

The effects and benefits of deliverance and healing were both immediate and immense. Not only was my mind set free, but also my locked-up emotions and the straitjacket around my body dropped off. I felt no restrictions to begin such things like gardening where the thought of doing the work before was actually more tiring than the work itself. I no longer needed to employ someone to dig over my garden, such a small area that it had become something of a joke with one or two friends that I needed to engage someone to do the work for me. But in the past, digging had proved a problem to me as I lacked the physically strength. It was far easier for me to ask a gardener to come and do the work while I wrote articles for the New Life newspaper and paid him for his time and effort from the earnings received.

Wonder of wonders, I actually became interested in DIY, and my productivity increased plus the zest for living. The enjoyment of natural life, of which I had been deprived for so long because of my condition, returned. The delusion concerning legitimate pleasures left. I felt able to sit out in the sun without a hat on and really enjoy the heat on my head, as I now did in my lunch break on the lawn near the bus shelter in Pond Street, Sheffield praising God and speaking in tongues.

The deliverance and freedom that Jesus had brought into my life was visible to all. My children saw a marked difference and got their real father back. Colleagues in the office observed a brighter countenance replacing a heaviness and tiredness around my eyes. It was a freedom and freshness hitherto not seen. Christian friends, too, noticed what God had done, though many didn’t have the interest to ask how I had become set free, possibly because of a lack of understanding about the demonic influence on my life.

So eager was I to see Tina on the first Saturday morning that I made it down to the Chesterfield railway station and caught the first train. Waiting for the Birmingham connection at Derby Station, I went into a photo-booth at 06.30 to take four quick snaps as joyful evidence to me, and others, of the great difference in my face that healing had produced.

Meeting Tina at home, I wrapped her in my arms and was bubbling over with what God had done in my life.

“You certainly look so different. I can see that something has happened right away because your eyes seem full of light, not like before,” she said.

Our being together from now on proved so much more relaxing, and we enjoyed “bathing” in the new life that God had brought me into. I wondered at one stage whether or not I should still go ahead and attend the ministry centre for counselling and healing consultation, now that I had been delivered, but I decided to keep the appointment, though not knowing what to expect.

By the time a few weeks had elapsed before going, I realised a little that there had been a 26-year gap in my life in which I had not developed naturally.

There were not only areas in my life to regain which demonic forces had taken to themselves, but I had to re-orientate myself into life again. I later discovered this was going to take quite a long time. I came to realise that although the demons had left, the thought-patterns they had established in my life needed totally breaking. So I continued praying, waiting on God, meditating, doing everything I had done prior to being set free in order to strengthen my life.

I still continued getting out at bed at 5 a.m., even the first morning after arriving at the ministry centre. I walked downstairs into the main entrance to get a cup of coffee and then questioned myself: “Why are you up so early?”

I then realised it was now time to take things more easily and enjoy my new freedom. So I went back to bed to enjoy more rest and the added delight that at eight o’clock the sun began shining on my face through the already opened window. It was a time of peace and wonderful relaxation.

The time of counselling over two days proved both helpful and interesting as the two counsellors sought to lead me into greater freedom. Although they accepted my testimony of healing and deliverance, they were aware from the contents of my letter how strongly the religious spirit had been. I co-operated fully with them in conversation and prayer knowing of their keenness to help me.

During the next eight months, I gradually began to get stronger and stronger. Now I was free, I began pressing Tina on the question of getting engaged, but time and time again she was not being hurried.

“I am aware that the Lord has done something wonderful in setting you free but please give me a little more time before we decide to go ahead,” she said.

When I was absent from her, Tina was doing a lot of praying and seeking the mind of the Lord whether to commit herself in marriage. I was anxious for us to get engaged and name the big day, but in a way I am pleased she took things less hurriedly as it gave me more time to start the long steady process of restoration and recuperation .

She herself needed space and was determined to avoid pressurised circumstances after locating discomfort in the abdomen and diaphragm area. Being involved with me emotionally and as deliverance minister rolled into one had taken an immense toll. I was in full agreement with her decision that until she sorted herself out, trips up to Chesterfield would be less frequent.

However, they say everything comes to him who waits. It certainly did in the early months of 1991 when it seemed that the vision of Tina in a bridal gown was moving to completion, as we decided to announce our engagement in April.

In my heart of hearts I always knew it wouldn’t be too long in coming.

**********************************************************************

Chapter 16: "There is hope for the schizophrenic"

Nothing receives more attention in our modern society than the area of the human mind. Because of the increased incidence of insanity affecting countless numbers, there never was a more urgent time for people to receive the power of the risen Lord Jesus Christ to transform their besieged and distressed lives.

It is not only those labelled as psychiatric patients who are being defeated by satanic powers. People from every walk of life, religion and culture across the length and breadth of our ever-shrinking world are being impacted in their minds by the pressures of spiritual darkness robbing them of precious sanity itself.

I ask: Is there hope for the mentally disturbed? Can the ever-increasing number of charities brought into being offer a glimmer of real hope to sufferers who daily face a  satanic blanket of darkness over life? Can anything be done for the helpless and seemingly hopeless case of the schizophrenic let loose into a society whom no one understands or cares for?

There is hope for the mentally sick, mentally disturbed, mentally assailed or mentally battered and bruised in modern life. Hope which releases freedom and wholeness promised by Jesus Christ, the Son of the eternal God, through his death and resurrection in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago. Hope, yes, real hope, in Him but in no other. I have proved that fact in my own life. You’ve read my story and ought to be asking: “What can believing prayer in Jesus Christ do for me?”

True, Jesus is the only answer for the problem of sin in every life. How important it is to know the peace of mind and heart that He brings. Because He is the one and only true God, He can do the impossible. He obtained for us the power of the Holy Spirit to live a Christ-centred and victorious life - but the receiving of that power and His resources are conditional.  Everything hinges on receiving him as Lord and Saviour through faith and acknowledging His sacrifice on the cross at Calvary as the only effective sacrifice procuring your eternal salvation.

In saying a schizophrenic COULD be healed and delivered, the declaration has to be qualified. A schizophrenic must see the importance of receiving Christ by faith into his heart despite the turmoil in his or her mind. Believing the controversial but spiritually discerned conviction that schizophrenia is not in the genes but can have its roots in  demonic activity, it would be needful for a person to receive Christ for reasons of their own safety.

Jesus himself pointed to the need of protection in Matthew 12: 43—45 where he says: “When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places, seeking rest, and  does  not find it.   Then it says,  “I will return to my house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.

“Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they go and live there.  And the final condition of that man is worse than the first.  That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

What Jesus says here in effect is that after a person is delivered of demon spirits, the Holy Spirit needs to fill the area they have vacated. If that doesn’t happen, then that person is in very great danger of finishing up worse than the previous condition. Only the power of the Holy Spirit would keep at bay the same demon returning with seven other spirits worse than the first.

Such a person would need God to help sort his/her life out. It would only be possible with the power of the Holy Spirit.  Compassionate and Holy Spirit-led Christians would need to be found to offer love and prayer support, and it would be no short-term commitment. The reason is that the person would have to start living in new two relationships; seeing and knowing himself after being set free with the additional experience of beginning a new life with Christ. With Christ, helping, teaching, guiding that person he could hope to be restored to normal life.   Yes, a living relationship with Christ could do it.

As my testimony has shown, I had the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life before my illness went into full bloom in my early twenties. Without that power I would have been unable to fight the evil presence of schizophrenia. I also had a tremendously long period after healing and deliverance had taken place to allow myself to “catch up” on 26 years in which I had not developed and grown normally. But God did it! The years after healing and deliverance were times of slow but definite progress requiring most of all a dependency on the Holy Spirit to teach, correct, inspire and show me those things I needed to know.   I needed Tina’s help too, and the prayers of friends, to get me there.

Since becoming free, I have reflected that although the 26 years were watched over by the faithfulness and love of God, those years for me were in a very real sense “absent” years. Years of not being aware of growing up in my early twenties, unaware that there were more things needing doing for my children apart from being their friend. Unable to do things like sport that I used to enjoy, and never having the strength to do my work and know fulfilment in it, instead of struggling. There was a long gap in my life which made it difficult to believe my age was almost 48 on deliverance day. During the subsequent years when people asked: “And when do you retire, Jim?” I couldn’t get my head round that one.     In age I was still somewhere back in my twenties.

Bearing in mind that God knew what He was doing, I have come to accept that the “gap” years referred to were years not without significance because God was filling that time by faithfully watching over me and showing his commitment of never-failing love.  I trust that many who have read my testimony will realise and rejoice that He never wavers and His power and love are sufficient to bring deliverance, freedom and healing.

Restoration to full wholeness will require a determined and definite co-operation by any Christian who suffered schizophrenia after first coming to Christ.  So if it is going to be a hard battle for anyone already a Christian before the illness dawns, how much more so for someone who, as a schizophrenic, receives Christ!

It is encouraging to see the amount of effort the Christian church in our land is making to lead people with mental problems into freedom. Many, while desirous of following Christ are held back because of generational curses affecting their lives. Bondages going back three and four generations run riot in lives today and need dealing with. But despite the signs of getting involved with the mentally ill, much more needs to be done by the Church in this area.

To care for the mentally sick and love them with the compassion of Jesus is not the glamorous kind of Christian evangelism that may win us a name or recognition, but God notices when we move out in His Name to love, care and bring deliverance.

Every time I hear of a killing done by a schizophrenic, my heart goes out to him in his sickness. High profile incidents such as the killing of a social worker while visiting a hostel for the mentally ill in Balham, south London, and his subsequent conviction  are becoming regular news items. This man was said to be “suffering from an untreatable personality disorder.” I suggest they present a challenge to the Christian church to get its hands dirty and its heart engaged in offering Christ’s compassion and delivering power for such hopeless cases.

That is why I want to my part in declaring His power and love through PUSH – Pray Until Schizophrenia Heals – and with a trumpet voice declare that Jesus Christ is the only answer and hope for so many lives held in the grip of a bondage so powerful.

The offer of the love and power of Jesus is so relevant today for everyone. Every Christian knows he faces the implacable hate and serpentine subtlety of our adversary the devil and makes it the business of the day to stand fast against him while advancing the kingdom of God. To liberate untold numbers whose minds are captive, teach them the power of the word of God and life lived in the spirit of prayer is gloriously possible.

Nothing is too difficult for God!!

I do not understand the nature of the research being carried out into schizophrenia in attempts to reach a solution to this complex mental illness.  I wish those engaged in this work every success in trying to solve what is a most baffling problem.  It would be a breakthrough to understand why a person can live normally up to or just beyond teenage years before the “dawn of devastation” changes life completely. To understand why this latent force within a person bursts forth would answer many heart-searching questions.

But there is another focus of importance which must be entered into, namely, that of praying to seek God for insight into the darkness.  For plainly it is an illness which not only demands the former kind of investigation but also the kind which calls or cries out to the Almighty God, the Creator of the human body.  Living in a fallen world it is of utmost importance to consult the living God who through Jesus Christ came to undo and conquer every realm of life affected by sin, of which schizophrenia is part.

I find it quite amazing that in my struggle over such a long period of time, the only help I was given came in tablet or injection form aimed at containing the illness.  It was not until the desire to become free grew in my spirit through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that God gradually began to unfold the steps leading to deliverance.   Already, as with everything else, God knew the way out of this embroiled and compounded maze of a problem with its stronghold wrapped solidly around my mind.   He had already made available to me through His death and resurrection the same power that raised Him from the dead.

My story seeks to give the due honour and glory to God’s ability to solve the impossible. “The possibilities of prayer are established by the facts and history of prayer.  Facts are stubborn things.  Facts are the true things.   They cannot be ignored”, wrote a mighty intercessor.

The evil power in my life was definitely demonic, there is ample evidence of that.   It is interesting to debate the roots of schizophrenia but far more interesting to be honest in acknowledging the obvious present devastation it causes.   Plainly, those in its grip lack the normal freedom enjoyed by everyone else.    It may be profitable to argue the source of the psychotic disorder – to ask; does the illness start from cells disturbed in the womb, or, as some suggest, is the origin in the expectant mother contracting some illness or, as I believe, is it rooted in a demon of rejection – but without doubt demons can thereby find an easy entry point into the human body to make it there home.

I know of no other way for schizophrenia to be defeated but by using the power of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Son of God, and applying the authority of the blood of Jesus shed at Calvary.  Until there is recognition of the satanic powers behind the condition  -leave behind the argument if you will of the source, and concentrate on the plight of every schizophrenic sufferer shackled in bondage – and a determination to deal with it, I see little hope of freedom being found and the condition overcome.

However, as detailed in my account, there is hope in God for deliverance.   I believe that through the death of Christ on the cross, forgiveness and restoration may be received and His wonderful indwelling life enjoyed. God is still able to deliver and heal all sorts and conditions of people – something which  is powerfully amazing.  When I look at his ability to restore a schizophrenic, as He has done for me, I doubly marvel at the wonderful power of God.

What a mighty Saviour He is!  A powerful Redeemer who came to destroy the works of satan in every form.   I recommend him to you.    He’s well worth knowing!